I think my vagina is haunted
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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