kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
