some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
