Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
