why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
