dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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