Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
