I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
