You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
