I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
