I'm going to jail i love you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
