just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
