Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
