so explain again why im purple
no
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
