You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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