i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
