just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
