that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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