I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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