I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
