i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
