Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
