how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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