I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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