I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
