hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
