So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
