Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
