im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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