Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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