Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
