Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
