i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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