He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
