so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
