Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
