just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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