Sponge bath it is.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
