Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
