I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
