next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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