I want to stick my p in your. b.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
