Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
