so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
