I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
