it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
