YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
