It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I looked at my own cervix.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
