More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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