I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
