I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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